What do you think of when you hear the word boundaries? For some, the word has a negative connotation or is associated with emotional pain. For others, they seem to “just happen” and rarely are thought of as an active process. Boundaries are a way to give yourself space and room for who you want in your life and how you will interact with them. They are a positive method to enhance your relationship with yourself and with others.
Boundaries are not the same as “being guarded” or “having a wall.” Having a wall up is usually a form of keeping others out. Whereas, boundaries are a way to create and maintain emotional and mental wellness. Think of boundaries as a bubble, something that you can see through and others can see you. You can control the expansion of the bubble through your own effort. There are many different types of boundaries. Some of them are listed in "What Are Personal Boundaries? How Do I Get Some?"
Signs That You May Want to Create or Change Your Boundaries
· Do the interactions drain you?
· Is their physical violence?
· Do you feel obligated to interact?
· Are you continually acting in a way to please others?
· Are you concerned with a person leaving/breaking up with you for expressing your needs?
Ways to Set and Enhance Personal Boundaries
· Say “no” and “yes” and mean what you say
· Know your comfort zone
· Honor your core values
· Resist the urge to blame or punish the person/persons with whom you are interacting
· Make commitments to spend time with yourself
Setting boundaries is a necessary part of being able to interact from a place of wellness with others. I invite you to take a moment to reflect on your boundaries.