Relationship Hygiene: 7-Minute Individual Check-Up

Being intentional and aware while in love and loving can be a rewarding experience.  Creating space to be with your partner as well as doing occasional couple check-ins are both part of intentional loving.   However, it is also important to nourish the individuals who make up the relationship.  If you find yourself feeling a bit out of touch, take time to observe and ground yourself. One way to do this is by doing a check-up of your mental and emotional space. 

The 5 “W”s + 1“H”
The questions below are prompts to assist in doing an individual check-up.  Each area is meant to build upon the other and creates a space to practice reflection and to ground yourself in your current state. 

Who
•    Am I in this relationship? (What is my role?)
•    Is in this relationship with me?

Why
•    Am I in this relationship? (choice, obligation, fear, uncertain)

What
•    Am I experiencing? (emotions, physical sensations, spiritual sensations)  
•    Am I being influenced by at this time? (values, expectations, societal messages, familial messages, peers, social media) 

Where
•    Am I? (past, present, future) Am I wishing the relationship was like it used to be or holding out for the potential of where I want it to go? 
•    Is this relationship? (beginning, middle, end)

When
•    Do we communicate?
•    Do we interact?

How
•    Do we communicate? (respectful)
•    Do we interact? 

This exercise was designed with the intent of assisting individuals assess where they are and want to go in their romantic relationship but may be generalized to assess other types of relationships (ie with family, friends and/or co-workers).  I invite you to nurture yourself as an individual  as part of your overall relationship hygiene.