Love Is...: 7 Ways to Create & Maintain Your Couple Connection

Love is a noun and a verb. Honoring love as a state of being and an action has a good impact on relationship health. You define and grow the love in your relationship. This means that there is effort needed from the partners within the relationship to maintain the connection. Here are a seven ways to stay connected:

• Affectionate Moments

All affection does not have to be foreplay to sex. You can have moments that exist on their own. Kiss, hug, hold hands, cuddle or even catch and hold your partner’s gaze.

Kissing releases “feel good” and “bonding” hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin. These can increase feelings of affection.

• Surprise Post-It Notes

Place post-it notes around the house, in your partner’s bag or in another space where it can be discovered. Include messages of appreciation, love, desire, inspiration or encouragement. You do not have to have an elaborate outpouring even a simple “I love you” is a nice surprise.

• Thinking of You Text

This is the digital version of the surprise post-it note. A few simple words or an emoji or two to let your partner know they came across your mind.

• Date Night

Set aside 2 hours each week to go out or stay in for a date. The point is to have time together that is focused on your connection and nothing else.

• 5 Things That Went Right

Many times, couples rehearse and discuss what is challenged in the relationship. It is important to also look at what is working well. Create a space that is daily or weekly to share 5 things that are going right in the relationship.

• Snapshot of My Day

Send a picture that represents an aspect of or the theme for your day. For instance, if you have been tired during the day, a picture of your cup of coffee. You may also include an explanation of the photo.

• Couple’s Journal

Keep a journal together. The journal may be a gratitude journal or other themed journal if you want to have prompts/ideas on what to write. You also can create your own and share thoughts and feelings. Leave the journal in a space that you both have access to and make an agreement in terms of how often you will write in it.

Outside the Box

Another idea is to create a poem or a story together. Pick a topic or theme for the writing and have fun! Each of you can write lines or paragraphs during the week. At the end of the week or during date night, spend a moment reading the story or poem together out loud.

I invite you to spend moments discussing and creating your own ways to stay connected.